Great leaders all seem to have one common trait: compassion – the ability to empathize with others. This trait is crucial to building connections.
Compassion rarely seems to survive childhood. I recall my children automatically requesting that I also treat their sibling when they achieved a milestone or asking for a charitable donation every time the class adopted a new cause. As they grew older, these requests started to lessen until they almost entirely disappeared.
In the competitive workplace, the cutthroat nature of business seems to leave no space for a compassionate leader, for a person that can place others above their own selfish needs or career advancement. Yet, we all respond to a compassionate leader.
A tragedy is just a tragedy until a friend or colleague gives a personal account of just how this event affected them. Somehow, there is a pause, a slight catch in the throat and suddenly, the case being presented becomes very, very real to us.
Compassion, being so rare, is the leadership characteristic we should prioritize above all others. Compassion brings all leadership attributes together, allowing us to connect with one another on a deeper, more intrinsic level.
Compassion is not empathy though. Empathy is a connection to another person’s emotions, to feel what they feel. Empathy is a passive event that requires no action. Empath allows us to understand the other person and yet ignore their needs simultaneously.
Compassion is different. It is about the connection, about being there for the other person. Compassion demands that we act to alleviate the suffering of the other person, and that we do all we can because we are distressed by this state of affairs. Compassion is an active state and action word.
Compassion is empathy devoid of laziness. It is easy to see a wrong or unjust event and simply sit back. The more we do this, the more we emphasize, the less we are genuine, and the less people believe in us. Compassion is like a muscle that must be exercised to remain valid. Compassionate leaders must not just have the right words to say, but they also need to have the action to follow through.
The Dalai Lama coined it just right “If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” We do not become happy by being selfish, but rather by giving back, by reaching out to others, by volunteering. The more a leader is compassionate, the more the company becomes compassionate, and the more people respond. Compassion is irresistible as people get a greater sense of self-belief, purpose, and community.
Compassion, though, does but start at work but starts at home. Compassion binds a family together and it is by carrying the small acts of compassion that we create the ties that bind us all together and enable us to weather anything the world throws at us.
Take the time today to be compassionate. Reach out to a family member, friend, or colleague who may just need that push of love in their lives to reach the next level. Soon, this will become as natural as breathing and you will become a more patient and kind leader.