Good leaders help their teams, great leaders enable their teams by being patient and empowering them by giving them space, encouragement, and trust.
My favourite phrase goes like this: How do children spell love? T, I, M, E.
Think back to the best childhood moments, the events that led you to be you, that shaped your interests and drive… I bet that behind those memories is a parent, grandparent, or teacher who was there without bullying you to an end goal. From the other perspective, there is something magical about that moment when your child finally grasps a concept or achieves something without your doing it for them.
I spent countless hours watching my father teach my son to ride a bicycle, first with the training wheels, then running alongside him, holding the bike with two hands, one on the handlebars, the other on the seat. Gradually letting go of the handlebars, imperceptibly so that my son thought he was still supported, the bike wobbling ever so slightly. Then the hand was whisked away, and the bike kept going… and finally, the back hand left the seat, my father still jogging next to the bike, providing the safety net of a grandfather while letting my son race with the wind… and then it happened. My father stopped jogging, and we all watched my son go around the playground on his own, pure joy at his achievement on his face. From that moment on, nothing could stop him or his bike.
All our life, we have tried to set challenges for our children, giving them just enough support to get them going and not so much that they used us as a crutch.
Where can we practice patience?
A great leader is first and foremost a mentor, a guide, a supporter who wants the best for his team but who allows them to stumble and sometimes fail, knowing that they will recover and succeed in the end.
Patience is a skill that needs practice, which is honed over time, but most importantly, patience can be practiced in all aspects of our lives.
Stuck in traffic, and the phone is pinging messages at you? Why risk an accident by glancing at the screen? Why rail at the slow drivers around you? Why now relax, breathe in and relax… it will take just as long to get to your destination if you are relaxed, but the drive will be far more enjoyable…
Have you ever tried to explain a concept to a colleague and felt challenged by how long it took them to grasp it? Your annoyance will seep into the moment, and they will be less likely to approach you in the future with a problem, more like to pretend to have understood you and slink away with half-understood ideas, which often translate into wrong deliverables.
Ever been short with someone just because you were annoyed? Patience is a skill and an art and it can be practiced 24 hours a day.
What then is mindfulness?
Pick up any modern leadership book, it will be full of buzzwords, hot topics that catch the eye because they are “new.” Mindfulness is simply taking steps to bring yourself into the present moment, setting aside life’s pressure, and give 100% to this moment.
Other people practice radical acceptance, fighting to let go of past losses, frustrations and challenges to enable themselves to engage fully with he current moment.
Others yet wait for the inevitable moment, taking every opportunity to sit back, relax and do nothing, despite the overwhelming urge to step in and do something to resolve the current situation.
These are all forms of patience and approaches to practice patience.
Once one notices these moments, when the urge to act; to move on; to leave an uncomfortable moment; or to simply jump to a conclusion, becomes greater than one can tolerate, then one can learn to master patience.
Committing each day to mastering one such moment, to step back and let the uncomfortable situation be, is building up the “patience muscle”, building up the resilience needed to be a patient leader.
What then is patience?
Patience is the ability to stay level-headed regardless of the situation or obstacle in front of you. Your team needs you to remain calm in a crisis, to enable them to steer the ship in a storm, while trusting them to follow your directions to the best of their ability.
Reacting immediately to a crisis normally means reacting with emotion, which often leads to rushed or incorrect decisions that do more harm than good and which often differ from decisions made the following day when the pressure of the crisis is over. It is natural for most people to feel emotions, to feel strongly about events, but a great leader knows how to control these emotions and store them away for a later date, remaining cool and collected so that the next decision is made rationally and not by the emotions.
Slowing down means controlling emotions and controlling the tempo of a crisis. It means regaining traction, having the space and clarity of thought to view a situation through the lens of logic, and yes, through the eyes of team members, allowing you to understand another’s point of view, making it easier to influence them towards your end-goal.
How Can Patience Help in Training Employees to Bring Solutions, Not Problems?
Patience is crucial to train your team effectively leadership. By being patient, leaders can create a supportive environment where employees feel comfortable bringing solutions, not just problems. This can foster innovation and collaboration, ultimately leading to a more productive and efficient workplace.
What Qualities are Important for Effective Leadership, Including Patience?
Effective leadership, including patience, is crucial for creating effective company leaders
. A good leader inspires and motivates others while remaining patient and understanding. Patience allows a leader to listen, learn, and adapt, fostering a positive work environment and promoting growth within the team.
Patience in a role model
True leaders set themselves apart from the crowd and becomes a role model for those they lead. However, to gain the trust of those you want to lead, you need to show yourself to be worthy of their trust. You need to show that you remain cool, calm, capable of self-control, and ready to handle what comes up, no matter what it is.
This applies not only to events that you want to drive but also to feedback and how you model your relationship with employees. Displaying anger or lashing out when a colleague has made a mistake or chosen to execute differently to your preconceived ideals is an emotional response, not a “patience” response, and white regrettable and avoidable, the damage caused by such an emotional response is often irreversible.
To err is human, to forgive divine. Unfortunately, those you lead want to feel to know that the person they report to, or rather follow, will react rationally and professionally in a crisis.
How Can Patience Contribute to Effective Leadership?
Patience is one of the key characteristics of effective leadership. A patient leader can calmly navigate challenges, listen to team members, and make thoughtful decisions. This approach fosters trust and collaboration, ultimately leading to a more cohesive and successful team.
Patience in life
My wife often asks me to “speak to her as if she is one of my customers.” She has seen me in action and wants the patient person who can articulate thoughts and wait for the other person to catch up.
Interacting with a traffic officer is often better and cheaper when one is patient and polite.
A day is always better when stress and issues are simply shrugged off and let go.
Think back at your major life successes. How many of them came about due to patience, due to slowly building up and moving people to achieve the end goal?
Patience is a strength that can be harnessed to be a better leader, co-worker, employee, friend or family member.
As they say in Africa, “If patience hides something, anger cannot find it.” Or in China, “One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.”
Patience is a conscious decision. Choose wisely and see where it leads you.